| Life with love has thorns, but life without love...has no rose... |
[Oct. 5th, 2005|09:35 pm] |
i saw that quote today and i thought of how true that is. but yeah i'm waitin' for my dad to call me back to bitch about how much i suck as a father. not like he doesn't suck as a father sometimes or ever. i do remember my whole childhood with him bein' a sucky father.
well the phone call wasn't all too bad, he actually didn't lecture me about anything. but i did have my proof ready for him. if he started bitchin' about school again i had all the amounts from the semesters that i went added up and ready for him. cuz he only had to pay like $300 out of $4124.50. so that's not so bad...i mean i could put his income on my fasfa form and have him pay the whole amount...but i don't. oh well i'm goin' to bed....g'night!! |
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| i have been such an ass...but still he stays... |
[Sep. 26th, 2005|10:15 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  loved | ] |
sometimes i honestly don't know why andrew stays with me....
here are why i wonder why he's with me...
cuz i...
1. freak out about everytime a girl comes around him...
2. i yell at him for stupid stuff
3. i make him cry with the things i do sometimes
4. i make him feel like he doesn't do anything right..
some of the asshole reasons why he could still be with me (but i don't believe these are true cuz of all the stuff i put him through is so not worth staying for any of these)
1. i give him money (but he hates taking it)
2. sex (but if i don't want it then he doesn't push and he could get it anywhere)
3. i buy him things (but he hates when i buy him things)
4. i take him out to eat (he hates when i pay)
5. i pay for most activities that we do (only right now cuz he doesn't have a job...and he only does these things with me to make me happy)
^---he hates when i pay for anything can't you tell....if he had a job right now i know that i would never have to pay for a single thing...and plus i know that if i didn't have a job and he did...i know that he would do the same for me (cuz he has) and that is why i don't mind doing those things.
reasons why i'm a good girlfriend...
1. i did his laundry all the time in mackinaw
2. i take care of him when he's sick
3. i make sure he is fed everyday
4. i make sure he's dressed nicely
5. i organized his dresser drawers
6. i help him with his homework
7. i watch all his favorite movies even if i hate the movie
8. i put up with his parents even though their views are completely opposite of my own
9. i put up with him when he's angry
10. i am there for him whenever he needs me
11. i make sure he has everything he needs
so i guess the good stuff knocks out the bad....but sometimes i am just so horrible or at least i think i am. i ofter wonder why such a great guy like him is with such a fucked up person like myself...i have put him through some pretty heavy shit and this man still stands by me...no matter what i throw at him. he's always there by my side....always pushing me to do what is right...he's always there cheering me on. he not only believes in me....but he believes in us. he told me the other night when we were fighting that if i couldn't let it go then we should end it....but if i ended it i would be ending the best year and 3 months of his life. it was at that moment that i once again realized that i was a doof and that this guy actually does love me and wants to be with me. when he said that my eyes welled up with tears and i couldn't speak. i mean seriously what do you say to that??
i guess there's a time that we all realize...what was always in front of us. i wish i could take back every fight that we've had...i wish that i could erase all the times i hurt him...all the times he's hurt me...and replace them with fun and happy memories...but then it wouldn't be real love. i believe in real love...sure...you have your great times, and your alright times, but you also have the hard times, the fights, the pain, but most of all you have your triumph...
there are not enough words, not enough paper, not enough ink or lead or chalk or paint or anything else in the world for me to even begin how i feel about andrew. i could use all of that....but it would all run out before i could finish. he is my everything, and i love him so much....i would even marry him if he were to ask me today. i would be honored to have such a patriotic, dedicated, smart, handsome, outgoing man for my husband. (now i don't wanna get married tomorrow but if he did ask i would say yes but it wouldn't be for like 2 years at least) he is everything that i could ever want in a mate...he is so amazing and i am so lucky to have had him come into my life....i don't know what i would do without him...i hope that one day everyone can find a person like him to be in their lives.
well moving past all this mooshy stuff...i'm goin' to bed. g'night all in live journal land...
zzzzzzz*snore*zzzzzzz |
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| i almost forgot... |
[Sep. 13th, 2005|04:08 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  hyper | ] |
on saturday andrew, adam (andrew's brother), and i went to see fantasic 4 and that was the worst theatre experience i have ever had. there were some kids in the front row that were running around the entire movie and playin' musical chair (and YES their parents were there and didn't do anything) then....i had two bitches behind me (they were over 30) who were talking the entire movie....when the movie got louder so did they....AND THEN....to top all that off...some fuckin' idiot brought a baby to the movie and i had that thing screaming in the far back corner. so near the end of the movie i was so annoyed that one of the kids who were runnin' around finally sat down...and i took one of my lil kit kat pieces and chucked it at his head...well my aiming was right on cuz i pegged him right in the back of the head. he turned around and i just sat there like nothin' happened...he turned back around and i grabbed andrew and just busted out laughin' while i'm tellin' him and he's like "you didn't do that" and i'm like "i sooooo did" it was hillarious. served that lil fucker right, that'll teach him to play musical chairs during a movie....anyway...i'll update lata. bye for now. |
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| so frustrated... |
[Sep. 12th, 2005|09:42 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  frustrated | ] |
i am so frustrated with andrew's dad....i love andrew so much but grrr. and i like his dad he's nice and all but his beliefs and my beliefs are TOTALLY different. and i am so annoyed by the fact that as soon as andrew and i leave his house his dad is callin' on andrew's cell phone tellin' him to come home for usually some dumb reason like to take down tents....something that could have been done before we left if we were told, or somethin' his dad could do. and his dad never says what it is...he just says that he has to come home right now. like tonight we were watchin' a movie....and his dad called and told him to come home right now. i am so sick of it. i mean i know his parents pay for school and he lives with them but jeeze it doesn't mean that he can't be social as well...it's kinda like a cinderella story but with a guy. his dad wants to keep him locked up in the house at all times....or else he get's yelled at. and i would understand if andrew was out till all hours of the night...but he's not 10-10:30 (11pm at the latest) on the weekdays and midnight on the weekends. and it's not like he's out doin' drugs or gettin' chased by the cops...oh well...i'll just deal with it cuz i love andrew....i'm goin' to bed...g'night!! |
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| i got a new job... |
[Sep. 2nd, 2005|11:32 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | loved | ] |
well i started a new job yesturday and it's like nothin' i've ever done...but i like it. i work at a place called mckay press through a temp service but yeah. anyway it's not a bad job. all i do is stuff envelopes and put together folders and stuff. i don't have to deal with cranky customers or anything like that. if i'm not in a mood to talk i don't have to talk to a single person. i like it. the only thing that sucks is the hours....it's from 7-3:30. today though i had to be there from 6-4:30 but for any time over 8 hours i get overtime for. so i like that alot. andrew also kinda found a job today. he bails hay and stuff i guess i don't know but that pays him $10/hr. mine only pays $6.34/hr but that's ok it's still money comin' in and at least 8 hour days mon-fri. i like that i don't have to work on the weekend cuz then i can do what i want when i want on the weekends and not have to worry about workin'. i like it and that's all that matters, plus it's keepin' me busy....and i'll actually have money goin' into my account instead of just bein' taken out. PLUS...i get paid every week. which is also nice....cuz you don't have to wait two weeks to get paid.
ya know the longer i am with andrew the more and more i love him. i have not been this happy in so long. ya know how sometimes when your with a guy the first kiss is amazing and then the kisses just get routine and theres not spark behind them they're just a kiss....well it's not like that at all with andrew....i mean granted the kisses aren't goin' to be as good as that first one...cuz the first one made me week and trembling, but the kiss still make me say wow and i still want more of them and if i could just kiss him all day long and all night and everyday all the time i would. i wouldn't trade his kisses for anything...i really want things to work out with him and i think they are going to. i mean we're talkin' about taking vacations together, and about living together, and about what if's about if we were married or engaged. and by no means am i ready to get married just yet....but i think i could be ready to be engaged. there would be no way that i would be engaged and then married like a year later i wanna be engaged for like 2- 2 and a half years. but when i think about my future...i want andrew there...and when i think about him becoming a cop and things....i want to be there. i mean we are always talkin' about the types of dogs that we're goin' to have together. like he wants a new foundland or a german shepherd (i wonder why) and i want an alaskan huskie and a lhaso apso oh and a jack russell terrier. everyone always told me that when you meet "the one" that you'll know....and i know that i want to be with him. i never get sick of looking at him...i never get sick of bein' with him....i never get sick of anything with him. i'm really beginning to open up more to him and brush off those girls...cuz well i don't feel as if i have anything to worry about. becuz i mean we've had alot of fights....most of which would prolly have made a guy leave....and he's still around and wants to be around. and i like that. he has become a safety net for me and i love it. i've been tryin' to get a new pick of the two of us on here but i don't know if i can get it small enough....but i'll keep tryin' but i'm goin'. so i'll update lata. bye bye!! |
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| on the right track |
[Aug. 28th, 2005|10:35 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  busy | ] |
so i've come to realize that sometimes just cuz you want somethin' doesn't mean your gonna get it. the job at debs was filled but oh well i'll just have to try harder i guess. i filled out the FASFA forms tonight so i hope that i can go to school next semester and i'm goin' full time cuz well yeah i'm goin' to live wtih my mom for a while i think. so yeah i don't really want to but unless i find a roommate to split half the costs of livin' i'm not goin' to move out. and i really wanna get andrew out of his house but i don't think that will happen. his parents are just rediculas lately. i'm mean they are always callin' him tellin' him to come home and do the stupidest stuff. we were at his sisters in bay city and they call to tell him that he has to come home and take down the tents (him and his dad went backpacking) when they knew where he was and they could have asked him to do it before he left....or his dad just could have done it. and then today we just lay down and start a movie we're like 10 minutes into it and his dad calls and yells at him to get home. i mean that's all they ever do is yell at him or make him feel bad cuz he doesn't see them much. so then he trys to spend time wtih them and they're not home. so i don't know.....i just wish that he would move out and then he wouldn't have to worry about them but i know for a fact that he won't do that so i don't even know why i worry about it anymore. i just hate how they make him feel. oh well....
well i'm out peace dudes. |
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| well i'm jobless and here is why... |
[Aug. 18th, 2005|10:39 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  creative | ] |
so after workin' for Be You for 5 months mike (the owner) asked me to go to mackinaw city to manage one of his stores he swore i would have a job when i got back so i said yes. well i busted my butt up there even though i hated the store and everything was always done. well he goes to pay me a week before i leave and says...
mike: we didn't expect you to go home this early in the beginning why are you leaving?
Jenn: well i really miss my family and friends and my dog. and plus i know Anne is leaving on the 14th.
(which was 2 days away at the time)
mike: Well Anne is leaving but i have amanda from the saginaw store starting over there and a holly girl starting too and uh...marissa is cut down to 20 hours a week and complaining and well....pimpin' only has one day and well... i told marissa that she could have his one day sooooo.....uhhhh....
and that was it i left that night went and thought about it all night and decided that i was quitting. so i went into the mackinaw city Be You and had beth call him and i told her to tell him to bring his check book cuz he wasn't goin' to get his keys till he paid me for the days i worked for the week. so he came and paid me nothing was said. i went back to cheboygan packed up my stuff and i had everything packed, in the car, and pulling out at 4:15pm. i was home by 7:30pm and it's been grand from there.
so next time you think about stepping foot in Be You Think about the Greedy Bastard that you're about to give your money to. do you really want to support his horrible tactics.
well peace out.... |
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| ........ |
[Jul. 16th, 2005|11:52 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  lonely | ] |
i have been so lonely up here. i miss my mom, my dog, my friends. the only person that i have is andrew and i don't know sometimes i don't even think he wants to be around. we've been having alot of problems lately. even though i know he would never persue anything with this girl it still bothers me and i'll tell you why. she writes in her live journal that she hopes that we break up so that she can have him and that if she believed in cheating she'd be doin' it right now. and that if anyone had any advice on things that wouldn't be considered cheating to do with him to let her know becuz she's open for suggestions. the reason why this is bothering me is becuz i just want her to know that i know but i also know that if i were to say anything to her then andrew will be pissed off and i don't want that cuz i want this to work and really that's all that we have been fighting about right now. everytime i see her now she stares at me and gives me dirty looks and all for the simple fact that i have something that she wants. regardless she would never get him cuz he thinks she's nasty but still. it kinda hurts to hear that someone wants you and your boyfriend to break up. some people really need to call me i'm super lonely. but i only have thursday afternoons off and saturday's off. every other day i work 10am-10pm. anyway take care all bye bye... |
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| Summer Destination: Mackinaw City, Michigan.... |
[May. 21st, 2005|11:16 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  exhausted | ] |
so it's been two weeks up at mackinaw city and i think things are goin' to get better. right now i am back in midland for andrew's sister's wedding which happened today. anywho the past couple weeks have been tough and whatever not. like when we first moved up there we had to wait to move into the trailor that we were goin' to be stayin' in somethin' about the roof bein' fixed and new carpet bein' put in there. so we stayed in my bosses house up there. then when we did move in the trailor there was no electricity, no heat, and no water so even though we were moved into the trailor we still had to go to mike's house to use the bathroom, cook, and shower. so after four days of nothin' bein' done about the trailor situation we decided to look for an apartment. andrew, beth, and i found two places in cheboygan, mi to look at. the one was newly remodeled and such this one was $575 and included the utilities. but the problem was that there was a barking dog down stairs but we liked it. then we went to look at the other which was actually right down the road a block or two. that one was $695 included all utilities plus cable. so needless to say we went with the second one. which is alot bigger then the other one. i mean in my room alone i have two walk in closets. Beth has two closets and a lil hide-a-way room. the place is just awesome. after that andrew and i had been fighting alot cuz he was missin' bein' home and around his family, and frustrated at work, and about beth and i movin' out of the trailor (he stayed there everything is fixed now), but i think after this weekend everything will be ok. we haven't really had time to do much up there cuz for the past two weeks i put in over 119 hours. made for a great $970 payday (let me add that i recieved that via CASH). about the only real thing that we did up there that not everyone can do was one morning before work andrew and i welt to big boy and picked up a couple orders of biskets (can't spell) and gravy and took it to a beach overlooking lake huron and the mackinaw bridge. we took some excellent pictures of the bridge with our phones. ok well i'm goin' to go everyone who needs to take a summer trip come and visit me at the mackinaw crossings in mackinaw city, mi. i work at a store called Be Charmed. but call me first to see if i'm workin' (989)878-0409. take care all and hope to see some of you soon.
oh one more thing....let me just say andrew looks great in a tux!!! |
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